Vasishta

“Only in dying life...I thought about that when I was up with the goats on the mountain, and a day went on forever and yet no time passed before the evening came, and mourning again...I learned goat wisdom. So I thought, What is this grief of mine for? What man am I mourning? Ged the Archmage? Why is Hawk the goatherd sick with grief and shame for him? What have I done that I should be ashamed?” -Hawk.
This story is about change, rebirth, and the inevitable struggle that those cause in our most perilous time of our lives. It hit me harder than I thought it would. Tehanu come to me at a part in my life where it reflected my own journey and feelings in life. If I read it sooner I wouldn’t understand this book. There aren’t great battles, explosive spells, or any heroic trope you could attribute to western fantasy story telling. It simply is about regular people, older people, that have hit a turning point of their life where the past cannot shape the future. They have to become new people, not because they want to, but because they have to in order to climb the pit of desolation. The focus of this book, like many of LeGuins works, revolve around power, freedom, change, and love. For this particular story, it focuses on the loss of power and status. For Ged, he loses his magery and his art. And Tenar, she loses her husband and gains a child. The feeling of powerlessness in this story seeps throughout. It is very relatable because the characters can’t rely on magic powers or military prowess to solve their problems. They must change themselves instead to solve their problems. Like us, the characters have to face themselves, their values, and their society in way that places them on the precipice of living their lives wallowing in shame, pity, and fear, or building new lives on rebirth, love, and contentment. I find Tehanu so compelling because it is a story only someone who has lived a long life could write and something only a woman could write. As the main character, Tenar, is a woman (Those who have read a couple of these would know that she was also the main character of the second book. This book rounds out her story) and her story is so focused on what is means to be a woman in western society. What roles, what purposes, what identity makes up a woman? What happens when you decide to fit yourself in this box, and what happens when you try to break free from it? Tehanu covers it all. I also like that LeGuin doesn’t shy away from bringing in those same questions but for men. As she explores, the identity of woman and men are linked. Its hard to put into words what I really learned from this book, as I have only finished it yesterday. But, what I know is this: we are we must make our identity suit who we are, not make us suit an identity. We must also embrace the change of our identity. We can never be the same people our entire lives. Lest we fall into despair.